i saw this yesterday

but wasn't sure if it had been photoshopped or not. then i found a link that pointed to reuters (who has a really stupid ad, so i won't bother to link that for you) which may lead a sliver of credibility to it. of course, this could be nothing more than the Maynard Jesus Hoax, but it certainly wouldn't suprise me if it really did happen. i wonder if Condi went shopping again.

picture 1

picture 2

guess he should have passed on the jumbo 'coffee' at lunch. (i take no responsibility for any ear bleeding caused by this link)

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i have 4 words for this one

IT'S.

ABOUT.

FUCKING.

TIME.

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good for a laugh

the opinions reflected in the following letter do not reflect the opinions of this author.

who the fuck am i kidding?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....

ok, maybe it's not THAT funny, but i still like it.

the opinions below are...

a) true
b) false
c) think for yourself
d) question authority
e) a & b
f) c & d
g) who cares?

laugh. don't laugh. i don't care.

word of the moment: FUCK

what a useful word.

anyways...

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking just the Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. We get Hollywood and Yosemite... You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom and Enron. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that the new country will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your politicians and evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with high morals.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

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very random thought

i wonder if anyone has tattooed the biohazard symbol on their ass (on one or both cheeks).

probably.

i spose i could look here

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that sinky feeling

one of my pet peeves of late is with bathroom sinks. why is it the faucets on the majority of batroom sinks have to be so short? whenever i'm washing my hands, i usually end up banging my knuckles on the back of the sink. i don't have the biggest hands in the world, but it's frustrating to have to pay attention to something so routine. so why is it the faucet makers have to have the spout so short? is it really going to cost that much more to extend it another inch? i'm not talking about moving it out too much.

sure, it makes it easier when brushing your teeth so when you spit it out, you may not be spitting on the faucet, but a simple inch and spitting off to the side (left or right, your choice) isn't that hard. personally, i like M's bathroom faucet. it's tall and hooks over and extended out a little more (that simple inch) and it doesn't get in the when when i'm brushing my teeth. plus, it's movable, so we can move it out of the way if needed. but i've never needed to, when brushing my teeth or washing my face.

i say we have a silly federal bathroom faucet regulation that requires them to be an inch longer. that way, people with larger hands don't run the risk of banging their knuckles against the back of the sink. usually i'm not for something seemingly so silly, but in this case, i think it would help.

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mixed feelings

last sunday, the boston globe started running Calvin & Hobbes. now, i love Calvin & Hobbes. have for many years, and was saddened when it came to an end, but i understand the whole concept of going out while still on top. Calvin was WAAAAAY on top of the majority of the cartoon strips that were running. there were a few exceptions (Peanuts), but for the most part, the majority of the comic strips couldn't hold a candle to Calvin. (most still can't)

now, when Opus returned nearly 2 years ago, i was very pleased. after a decade of silence from Opus, he was back, and in honor of his return, he was given the center slot (between Dilbert and Garfield) on the front page of the sunday funnies. a proper location i thought, but placing Opus on top, with Dilbert in the middle i thought would have worked better, but that's ok. still front page.

last sunday, M & i stopped by to pick up the sunday paper and i was dismayed to see that Opus was no longer front and center of the sunday funnies. in fact, after a very quick review of the funnies, i didn't see him anywhere. (i found him later, but for a little while, i was dismayed at the prospect of there being no more Opus.) instead, in his place (front and center) was Calvin.

i'm torn. i love both comics, but i miss seeing Opus on the front page. he's now been relegated to page 4, and shrunk. that was one of the joys, having a larger format comic strip (which was resurrected by Calvin & Hobbes ironically) right there on the front page. a larger canvas. more than a few panels to tell a story. but alas, things are now smaller. Calvin is full size, but it's still sad to see a good friend relegated to page 4.

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(not so) random picture of the moment: read the caption. (found here. thank you)

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(not-so) random picture of the moment: credit goes to The Daily Show. (where's the 'G' disaster? thanks to JWZ for posting this.)

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daily show follow-up

for those of you who may have missed The Daily Show from Tuesday (9/6) night or the repeat Wednesday (9/7), JWZ has posted links to various bits from the show, including the Dumbass Dub list of Major Disasters. (i wanted that list, so thank you JWZ)

CLICK ME

my favorite - The Bush Timeline (vid is streaming WMV format)

again, a big THANK YOU to Jon Stewart and The Daily Show.

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i thought about writing out a long reply to some asshole who called myself, TK and a friend of his both 'fuckers' and 'retards' in the same reply to a comment, but after writing some, i decided i'd say fuck it and take the high ground, which at the time i didn't want to do, but as time passes, what's the real point of trying to reply to someone who has a very republican perspective on things and seems to consider anyone who is in the northeast liberal. guess he never met Le Grande Fromage. anyways, if you want to read his comments, which are rather entertaining in my opinion, you can read them here.

i will stand by MY comment that we have an assclown for a leader and he needs to be fired from the circus.

everyone is entitled to their opinion, and as the saying goes, opinions are like assholes. everyone has one. and as a person who firmly believes in the freedom of speech, and tries to listen to the various sides/opinions before making my own conclusions (think for yourself), i can't fault this asshole for writing what he did. granted, my calling him an asshole may be cruel and in reality he may be a perfectly pleasant person whom i might like drinking beers with on the weekends while watching football (something tells me that he would object to that idea) but when someone calls me, a good friend, and a 3rd person 'fuckers' and 'retards', one has to wonder about this person's mentality rests.

so, he had his say. he voiced his opinions. i've voiced mine. so long as he respects my opinions, i'll respect his. that doesn't mean i'm going to agree with his opinion, but i will respect it.

and remember, it's not 'the south', it's 'the FUCKING south'

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random picture of the moment

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kudos to The Daily Show

i don't watch The Daily Show that often, but after taking last week off (Jon is saying it was vaca, i saw something that said they didn't want to poke fun at the Bitch, whatever) they are back and tonight they did a very nice job summarizing the Bitch.

he gave props to the media for actually doing the right thing for once. they obviously were fairly critical on Dumbass Dub, but when his actions are foolish, then what can you do?

when Bitch hits, Dumbass flies to Arizona to attend a town hall meeting and talk to seniors.

the day afterwards, when the levee broke, he flies to San Diego.

and the list goes on. my favorite quote which i hadn't heard, and was summed up by Jon Stewart wonderfully by showing Dumbass Dub talking about how he is a common man - Trent Lott's house was destroyed, but it is going to be built better and he looks forward to sitting on the porch with a cold drink.

is it any wonder that the ratings of The Daily Show are high, and an increasing number of students say they get their news from The Daily Show?

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i'm not sure what i want to write. like many people, my heart goes out to everyone that was affected (devastated) by that bitch katrina. (something tells me that katrina is not going to be a popular baby name in the US for a while.) i've done what i can to avoid seeing the news coverage on tv, opting for a more web based approach to getting information.

as always, the tv news likes to focus on the negatives (looting, damage, etc) rather than the positives. but that doesn't make for interesting tv. we are a society that is driven by an overwhelming negativity. we have to see it so that we can tell ourselves that at least i'm in a better position than you (they) are.

i'm lucky where i am, as we were not affected by the Bitch. but the response to the Bitch by the government is shameful. FEMA has been ineffective (even tho they are saying it's been their best response ever). Dumbass Dub continues to prove just how fucking stupid he is. it's funny how when florida last year was kicked in the balls several times in rapid succession, the first possible moment, Dumbass Dub goes flying down there to survey the damage.

what did he do this time? he went to san diego.

while new orleans gets turned back into a chaos driven swamp, what does he do? nothing.

why?

he's still on vacation.

his vacation is important. he's leader of free world. he has lots on his mind.

he's still trying to read a book. (shouldn't be hard, this one has LOTS of pictures)

our neighbors to the north (our GENEROUS neighbors to the north) have offered assistance. what do we do? tell them 'no thanks, we're good'. (thankfully, it looks as tho the gov't has now swallowed it's pride).

what does the secretary of state do? she went shopping for shoes and when confronted by an angry shopper, had her removed from the store. what's the matter condie, you've got bigger balls than Dumbass Dub.

TK has reached a point where he is beyond outraged. i don't blame him. at this point in time, i just sit here in disbelief of how poorly this has been handled. i love the idea of some disaster happening somewhere else in the world and the people there thinking 'well, he could have received help from the US, but i think they need to keep the money for themselves. thanks for the offer, but here's your aid back, you need it more than we do.'

stuff like this is good for us i think. we go around rattling our sabre, kicking over sandcastles. truth is this, we're no bigger or better than other people in the sandbox. for once, mommy and daddy aren't there to pick us up after we got pushed and tripped on the not-so little people.

as a closing thought for everyone, i offer the following quote:

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
-- Teddy Roosevelt

so, to sum everything up, *cough* Mr. President *cough* (sorry, that hurt):

fuck you.

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not bad for a song written nearly 20 years ago

Genesis - Land of Confusion

I must’ve dreamed a thousand dreams
Been haunted by a million screams
But I can hear the marching feet
They’re moving into the street.

Now did you read the news today
They say the danger’s gone away
But I can see the fire’s still alight
There burning into the night.

There’s too many men
Too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go round
Can’t you see
This is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we’re given
Use them and let’s start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

Ooh superman where are you now
When everything’s gone wrong somehow
The men of steel, the men of power
Are losing control by the hour.

This is the time
This is the place
So we look for the future
But there’s not much love to go round
Tell me why, this is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we’re given
Use them and let’s start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

I remember long ago -
Ooh when the sun was shining
Yes and the stars were bright
All through the night
And the sound of your laughter
As I held you tight
So long ago -

I won’t be coming home tonight
My generation will put it right
We’re not just making promises
That we know, we’ll never keep.

Too many men
There’s too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go round
Can’t you see
This is a land of confusion.

Now this is the world we live in
And these are the hands we’re given
Use them and let’s start trying
To make it a place worth fighting for.

This is the world we live in
And these are the names we’re given
Stand up and let’s start showing
Just where our lives are going to.

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food for thought?

Onion Style. The Onion recently opened it's entire archives, and in my browsing the blogs i like to browse, CRandall found this entry which is rather disturbing. as he points out, look at when it was written.

also CRandall sourced, he found the USGS (US Geological Survey) Landsat photos of New Orleans taken April 24, 2005 and August 30, 2005. all i can say is this: this is fucking nuts.

he's got a bunch of other links (lots in the last 3 days) that he's found. some i've seen, but if you haven't, they certainly are worth looking thru. esp seeing Dumbass Dub holding a geetar...(page 2 of the blog currently) his blog can be found here

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