how depressing

overall it has been a quiet month, which has led to few posts by me as i can't say i have had many overly profound thoughts or doings.

after an irritating day at work on friday (someone who had planned to take the day off decided not to, so i could have had the day off, but didn't find out until i got to work), i stopped by atlantic to pick a few things up (milk, etc) and was surprised to see the parking lot packed. usually it gets pretty full during rush hour, but i managed to get there long before that rush so i wondered what was going on. after wandering into the store, i noticed the sushi bar was closed and wondered why that was, but at this point the 25% off total purchase print outs didn't register. after a few more moments, i realized that the little supermarket with the full liquor license that i liked going to was closing. there's no indication of when it will finally close, but at the rate people were attacking the shelves, i don't think it will be much longer.

so yesterday, M & i went back to do a more thorough browse of the wine aisle. 25% off booze is pretty good. on friday, people were practically fighting over the large bottles of vodka and the like, and the wines had been pretty well picked over. but we started looking and decided that if we saw something that looked interesting, grab it. for a supermarket, atlantic had a reasonable selection of wines. some cheap, some more expensive, but certainly a better selection than some places, so we looked and grabbed 9 various bottles. 2 of them were an El Coto Rioja which we had tried earlier this month and enjoyed. but the rest were this or that. afterwards, we did something i had yet to do since i started shopping there - we went up and down every aisle looking to see what else might be of interest. there wasn't a whole lot left that was of interest, but we were able to find stuff that we needed. and with heavy hearts, we paid for everything. 25% made a pretty big difference, knocking just over $50 off the bill, and to our delight, the $20 gift certificate was still valid, so we saved just over $70. not a bad haul.

on friday i gave it some thought as to why they were closing on the way home, and my suspicions were confirmed when i found a few articles on the closing.

more competition, the economy and energy prices. in the last year, both stop & shop and market basket opened in town (right next to each other) and they have pulled business away. i knew this would happen when they opened, but i obviously didn't know how much business was being pulled away. according to one of the articles i found, it costs atlantic ~$300,000/year for energy costs. that's a ton of money. in part it was due to their equipment, but with rising energy costs, increased competition, it made it harder for them to stay afloat. they still are, but the question would be 'for how much longer?' would they keep their heads above water.

for me, it means i have to plan my shopping trips a bit more. no longer can i just swing over to atlantic to grab milk or pistachios (that really depresses me - i liked their pistachios). both MB & S&S are out of the way for me. and i'm now kind of in the middle of the surrounding supermarkets. i've always had several choices, but i really did like the ability to literally roll down the hill to atlantic for when i needed something. plus it was easy when M&i were cooking if we needed something, i'd just run out and get it. no longer.

i don't know if i'll be back in atlantic before it closes. i may make another attempt at a wine run later this week, but i wouldn't be surprised if it was finally closed. i'm not sure if i'm mourning the loss of a friend, or whether i'm mourning the loss of convenience.

i am certainly going to miss the ability to buy beer & wine there. there are so few supermarkets that sell beer and wine in this state (talk about your draconian liquor laws, i voted yes to wine in supermarkets when it was a ballot question a few years back). the 3 trader joe's that sell wine are all out of my way (cambridge, framingham and i forget, but i've been to it). whole foods doesn't sell wine (have seen it tho in sonoma).

oh well. there isn't anything i can do about it, but i guess this means that market basket will be getting more of my money. even if it is a pain in the ass to get out of their parking lot. (light at the main entrance does not allow for left turns which i need - goes back to long before they moved in and the town (surprise) does not appear to want to change that)

farewell my friend. farewell to the first supermarket i had ever been in that had genuine carpeting.

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damn

all i could say when i was looking at the pictures in this article on lego turning 50 was:

holy shit.

holy shit.

i had that.

holy shit.

i haven't seen that in years.

holy shit.

holy shit.

holy shit!

happy birthday 50th lego

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i'm finding it interesting

on december 27th, a classmate from high school passed away. i can't say that either of us got along very well, but there was a begrudging respect that we had for each other. pretty much that "we'll keep out of each other's way" thing, but we did share the common bond that 21 of us had - we were there for all four years (originals). my memories of him can't be summed up in a single word: meathead.

anyways, AH (pleasant person) who sends out the periodic email about school happenings sent the message to all of us who had given the school our email addys. one of my classmates had been working with him, and wrote a (surprisingly, based on my memories of him) touching follow up, which has brought seveal of my classmates out of the woodwork. all of whom i don't think i've thought of since graduation. so in the last few days, i've been thinking a bit more about my classmates and how it's interesting to see how people have changed.

i'm now seriously considering going back for my 15th this year, which in itself is pretty fucked up as i've pretty much lost track of how long it has been. i have to remind myself that i really have been here for 10 years once august rolls around. but we'll see i guess. i still have memories of the 5th year reunion that bother me, but i guess we'll see what promises hold true, and which ones don't.

anyways, this has reached a point of going nowhere. read between the lines. ask me questions. take it for what you will.

i'm molius, and i approve this blog entry.

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here we are five years later.

and is it really any better? i started regular blogging just over 5 years ago, immediately prior to the events of nine-eleven. much like i did in 2002, i'm refusing to watch the news today, as the media seems to enjoy this beating of a dead (and now rotted) horse that is nine-eleven.

the only real serious reference i will make about the events is what i'm copying below. i wrote this in my hotel room in atlanta on 9/12 (day after), but rather than forget to post it tomorrow, i'll just post it today. it's been a while since i re-read it, and just now was the 3rd or 4th time since i wrote it. so with nothing else to say, here's what i wrote on 9/12/2001.

fucking insane

below you'll find something that i wrote, and i can't really bring myself to read it again.

like most people in the states, and i presume a good chunk of the world, i am in shock over what happened this morning/yesterday morning.

i commented to some of the friends here, that our parents generation will remember where they were when JFK was shot, our generation will rememeber where they were when the world trade centers exploded.

i had walked into the CNN tower in atlanta to goto dunkin donuts to get breakfast. i managed to order breakfast w/o to much problem, but i could not help but shake the image on the montiors of the world trade center in a huge plume of smoke.

the first thing i tried to do was call jj, but failed in that, so i called my mother, who was a native new yorker. the first words out of my mouth where something along the lines of:

hi mom. it's me. turn on the tv NOW. a plane just crashed into the world trade center.

while i was talking to her on my phone, i saw the explosion of the second plane. my initial reaction was that was some unburned fuel or something from the first plane. the showed immediately afterwards the wider angle shot that showed plane #2 crashing thru the other tower. i'm not one for swearing in front of ones parents, esp my mother, but i swore four times while i was on the phone with her.

the shock of what happened cannot be described. i am sure that other people have posted their thougts and feelings, but for me, i was genuinely spooked. i'm not someone who spooks easily. i'll jump if starteled, sure. but spooked, not me.

this spooked me.

around 930 (eastern time) i headed towards the booth. i needed to get away from this tragedy. i called my girlfriend, and made it to the booth.

it wasn't long before the rumors of a 3rd plane hitting the pentagon started flying. and they weren't rumors.

what scared me, is i have a very dear friend who works very close to the pentagon, and i knew that if he wasn't at work, he would be driving by around the time the 3rd plane hit.

by this point, i was terrified. never in my life have i ever, EVER been terrified. and i was. i tried calling his cell, i tried calling his home, and i could not (understandably) get ahold of him. it wasn't until we were walking back to the hotel after the show closed at 2pm, that i got ahold of him. i spoke with him for no more than 5 mins, but it was some of the most relieving 5 mintues in my life.

he had heard and felt the explosion, and raced to the top of the building he works on, called his wife and said the following:

i'm coming home.

i think those three words were some of the sweetest words i have ever heard.

i knew that i did not know anyone in any of the crashes, but i knew that a very close friend was way to fucking close to one of the crashes.

hearing him answer the phone, and take a moment to figure out who was calling meant the world to me. he was safe. his family (most importanly) was safe. and if i need to stay in atlanta, i have a place to stay. he has family here, so if i should need it, i just have to call him.

that feels good, but knowing that he was safe, and his family was safe meant a great deal.

i'm not a praying man, but when he asked me to pray (knowing my beliefs), i said i would, and i have. i honestly have. i prayed for him, his family, my friends and those who have suffered a loss in this mess.

my heart goes out to anyone who is directly affected by this. except the families of the terrorists who committed these incredible acts. to them, i shame. and to those who actually comitted these acts, i condemn your souls, or whatever you believed in to hell. i believe that there is some sort of hell, and i hope beyond hopes, that hell was able to construct something more than fitting in a very short moment of time.

i do not believe in a "God" per se, but i believe that there is something. and i genuinely hope, that whatever may be out there, tortures your damned soul for eternity.

you are a coward.

you are a shit.

you are NOTHING.

you do not deserve ANYTHING.

all you deserve is torment, torture, and whatever hell it is you believe in.

i am really fucking exhausted. time for bed.

the following is what i started write this morning, but never finished. i felt that i need to post this as it contains the feelings i felt at the time. this was written prior to the collapse of the world trade center.

ok. now i'm spooked.

i get to the cnn tower to have bfast, and the first thing i see on the tvs is the world trade center, in smoke with the words 'a plane has crashed into the world trade center'.

i'm not one for getting spooked. sure, if something startles me, i'll jump, but i don't spook very easily.

that just freaked me out. (plane #1)

so, i call jj to tell her to turn on the news, but get her answering machine, so i call my mother (NYC native)

the first words out of my mouth are:

hi mom, it's me. turn on the news now. a plane crashed into the world trade center.

so we are talking about it, she gets CBS turned on (CNN has an ABC feed) and while we are talking, they have a close up on the tower and then you see another massive explosion. i thought it was just more fuel from the plane going off.

i was wrong.

(pardon the following pun, as it isn't)

dead wrong.

they zoom back and show a second plane go flying into the tower.

NOW i'm spooked.

they replay it several times, and i'm still getting chills thinking about it.

but that isn't the end of it. JT was talking to someone who said that one of the planes flew out of boston.

so, how has my day been you ask? pretty fucking scary. a national landmark has a plane crash into it (one that i have been up). a national landmark has a SECOND plane

Current Mood: angry, hurt, spiteful, & more

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