i've been in the computer support business for a long time now so i've seen my fair share of the 'my cup holder on my computer is broken' type requests.

my favorite site for this (and in my not-so-humble opinion REQUIRED READING for anyone in this line of work) has to be:

The Chronicles

of George

i have yet to find a site that so brilliantly shows what some of us go through.

on a daily basis.

so, i'm going to start posting some of our more brain dead colorful help desk requests. these will be as they are written (with an attempt to protect the stupid). i won't change the spelling, i won't change punctuation, i'll just remove the names (Bubba becomes B.) and extensions.

826am, 8/9/07
Hi C., I can't from the print screen key on keyboard. Thanks, h. r. x1234

and as i'm writing this up, the first message is followed by:

908am, 8/9/07
Hi C., please cancel my last email, thanks, h. x1234

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game shows

i was just talking with M and i came to the realization (surprise) that i absolutely despise game shows on TV. the only ones i can even remotely stand are Jeopardy and reruns of Press Your Luck (not Whammy).

but M was telling me how she fell into some new one on CBS with Drew Carey and i could feel my temper just go flying out the window. i know i prolly sounded annoyed, so i do apologize for that, but as she is describing this abomination to me, i was growing more and more disgusted with how fucking lazy the networks are.

i know i've reached a saturation point when it comes to television, and i know that the bulk of it is absolute dreck, yet i still watch it (no wonder it's called an idiot box). with minor exceptions, i hate pretty much all reality (that really isn't) TV. (i'll admit to watching Top Chef and Project Runway, altho i think Runway is a challenge away from jumping the shark)

but fucking survivor, or american idol. jesus fucking christ...we are a really fucking pathetic society if more people are casting votes to boot a tone deaf singer off idol than there are voting in a presidential election. (if we haven't yet, give it time, it will happen)

i realize it's cheap and if it catches on, the ROI is pretty high. no writers (or fewer as people are discovering some "reality" shows are partially scripted to make them interesting *cough*hulkhogan*cough*), small crews following a group of attention whores act like a group of fucking idiots, what can be better than that?

fark is fucking right - hollywood is out of ideas. how long before they decide to start putting 2 hour episodes of the price is right into theaters for us blind sheep to go rushing to see. and let's not forget the director's cut DVD that comes out afterwards that includes a deleted scene where drew "accidentally" cops a feel.

fucking reality TV. and motherfucking game shows.

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screw you jim

actually, you were one hell of a guy. yesterday on my way to work, i was stuck in traffic and Opie and Anthony were on a commercial break so i had the afternoon show The Doors did in Boston (April 10, 1970) playing. while the concert is starting up, my PPC (technically not mine, the one i use at the grace of AP) was making noise about the battery being low (so i forgot to plug it in over the weekend. big deal). as traffic was heavy (see the slideshow from last week for a taste of my usual traffic), i figured i'd see if i could find the charger for my phone to shut it up. so just as i start rummaging around, Jim proves just who prophetic he can be.

Ah keep your eyes on the road,
Your hands upon the wheel.
Keep your eyes on the road
Your hands upon the wheel.

thanks Jim. just what i needed to hear as i'm rummaging around for the charger i couldn't find. i did find the charger for my previous phone, and my nextel back when i had that. (i still need that worm game and flight of the bumble bee for my phone)

at least my ride into work was nicer today. didn't hurt that i was heading to work at 10am after my dental appt (which went well).

sad thing is that was pretty much the highlight of my day. there's a war brewing at work between Ops & IS and it's going to be really fucking ugly.

there's a lot of moving people around planned for the next few weeks (including myself) and one of the bitches who was sposed to move out of her office (LO) cried like a fucking whiny bitch to AM who told her that she was moving. (that had been netogiated w/FAS)

so rather than accept her fate, she went to our new Veep and cried to her because AM didn't say 'deal with it'. so an office that was given to IS (in this case, LJ) is now no longer going to LJ. which means LJ and i get to share our office for now and LB (currently) ends up getting screwed.

LB is giving me her office, as LJ was sposed to have her own office (currently occupied by whiny bitch LO), i would get LB's office and LB would move into the office that LJ and i are currently sharing.

it looks as tho i'll keep my office and LB is going to move into some enlarged cube that whiny bitch LO was sposed to get. LJ's pissed at LO, AM & KD for screwing LB. i'm pissed at LO, AM & KD for similar reasons, plus AM's been a real bitch to IS of late, so the schism that exists between Ops & IS is only growing wider.

work is going to be interesting in the coming weeks. i wonder if our phones work at 10mb or not...

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random slideshow of the moment: my ride into work (8/1/07)

i was playing with my camera (my little one, not my new one) on the way into work and this is the result - ~2/3 of my wonderful ride in. i held the camera against the window and just let things fly and here you go. the only thing i did was resize all the pictures (400x300). some quick googlin' found a pretty easy to use slideshow maker (just adds a splash at the end). and here's my first flash slideshow. (ed: now with click-to-play!)

leave a comment, lemme know what you think (good/bad/indifferent).

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random picture of the moment: nature shot (widescreen)

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random picture of the moment: looking outside

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random picture of the moment: On-coming traffic

taken with the new camera outside tonight. i like the night mode it has, plus my little tripod helps.

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to quote Opie and Anthony:

thanks AAAAAAALLLLL

they talked about this yesterday, but i figured i'd post this with a bonus.

Rev. Sharpton won't oppose Imus comeback

NEW YORK - The Rev. Al Sharpton, who urged the Imus' firing, wouldn't object if the radio personality returned to the airwaves. "He has a right to make a living," he said in a telephone interview Wednesday.

Sharpton said he hadn't softened his views about Imus, who was dismissed from his syndicated program (simulcast on MSNBC) in April for calling the Rutgers University women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos." But he added that, under the right conditions, the radio star's banishment could eventually end.

Sharpton said he hoped that any broadcast outlet that hired Imus would take steps to ensure that he wouldn't return to a brand of humor that included race- and gender-based insults.

"We had never asked him to never work again," he said, echoing comments he first made to Radar magazine.

Imus' attorney, Martin Garbus, wasn't answering questions about his client's future Wednesday.

(bonus originally found here - thanks Anthony. just be warned, link may lead to NSFW audio/video/pictures so don't blame me when you get in trouble)

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Random Picture of the Moment: Non Illegitimi Carborundum!

many years ago (some 17-18 i think) dad stuffed his Bill the Cat into the copy machine at work and made the following. ever since then, 'Bill Stuck In The Copy Machine' has traveled with me wherever i have lived at the time and is usually displayed on my fridge (as it is today). i haven't figured out how to sneak that tie out of the house yet w/o dad noticing.



the post-it says 'from one latin scholar to another'

(translation)

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now there's something that doesn't happen every day

i was driving into work this morning, stuck in the traffic that surrounds the local T station and the minivan in front of me dives into the pull off (that isn't really much of a pull off) to drop her passenger off (who thankfully jumps out pretty quickly). she starts to pull back into traffic (i can't do anything but let her in) but then she starts to turn back rather than out in front of me. so i start yelling at her to move left (pull back into traffic, go around the idiot in front of her)

then Uncle Al usurps me.

the final four lines to LiesLiesLies (a fine little ditty off Rio Grande Blood, also available in remixed form on Rio Grande Dub) are:

Don’t listen to me, listen to your head
Don’t listen
Don’t listen to anything they say
Don’t listen

i know the song is a political rant, but taken out of context (me yelling at a stupid driver), it sounds like Uncle Al was telling the foolish driver to ignore me.

D'OH!

(turned out she was being kind to the car in front of her who wanted to pull out, but i couldn't see due to her being in a minivan obstructing my view (i saw the first car, but not the one immediately in front of her). by which point the CD had moved onto the next track - The Great Satan)

i laughed.

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this has been a while

i think i've done this from time to time, but i know i haven't done it recently. prolly since the great cheesecake fiasco (nearly 2 years ago, how i've not missed that dump).

anyways, yesterday M&i decided that we wanted to have lunch at Finz in Salem. to our surprise, there wasn't much of a wait (none) as the last time we tried, it was pretty busy. so i'll list the good things (you may see a pattern developing)

the good:

• there was no wait to be seated
  
• they moved a table out of the sun under the awning so we could sit in the shade
  
• lunch was free

we arrived around 1pm, and were promptly seated (outside on the deck, see above, they moved a table for us). so far so good. we are given water with lemon, ordered ice tea (after considering the peach mojito). that was promptly delivered.

without a way to sweeten it.

110pm
our waitress (i believe her name was Michelle, but she never tells us her name, we find this out later on) takes our order. nothing fancy, fairly simple, all appetizers.

• Watermelon Salad (entree size)
  
• Scallop Ceviche Mini Tacos
  
• Guacamole Topped with Crabmeat (added at the last moment)
  

after taking our order, our waitress gives us the sugar packet thing so we can finally sweeten our ice tea. at this time, 3 women arrive and are seated, and another couple arrive and are seated (they opt for a sunny seat). a few minutes later, a party of 6 (and infant) arrive.

M&i chat about this and that, the usual lunchtime conversation. M wonders if we are getting rolls (as she arrived pretty hungry). our waitress is nowhere to be found.

during this time, all 3 of the afore mentioned tables have placed their orders and had drinks served.

120pm
ditz of a greeter shows up, sucking down her dunkin' iced coffee. my water glass facing traffic with passing waitresses, a ditzy greeter and sluggish bus boy, is empty.

125pm
M wonders aloud how long it takes to put together 3 cold appetizers. we managed to flag ditzy greeter over (after she blatently avoids eye contact with us for several minutes) to ask about our waitress. my water glass is still empty.

130pm
the party of 3 women now have a hot appetizer. we finally manage to flag down our waitress (thanks to sluggish bus boy) and ask if we are getting rolls. she informs us that they don't serve rolls at lunch, but she can have some put in to warm for us. the only thing is our meal would be out before we received the rolls. we pass on the rolls. we ask what the problem with our order is and she informs us that everything but the tacos are ready. we send her off to the kitchen to bring out the salad and guacamole. running theory is that she never placed our order. my water glass continues to be empty.

135pm
the couple sitting in the sun receive their lunch. (not appetizer, LUNCH) M is boiling. we receive a basket of rolls. just like several OTHER tables. after a 2nd trip, all of the seated tables around us have baskets of rolls. we flag ditzy greeter over and ask her why it is taking so long to assemble 3 appetizers. she stumbles over her words and heads off to talk with someone. hot appetizers are delivered to party of 6 (and infant). and like my water glass, my ice tea is now empty (i could only nurse it for so long).

140pm
one of the several managers comes out to speak with us. she apologizes for the delay, that things will be taken are of. couple sitting in the sun receive their bill. my water and ice tea glasses are empty.

145pm
couple sitting in sun depart after paying their bill. M tries a roll. water glass: empty. ice tea glass: empty.

149pm
lunch is served.

150pm
M&i receive ice tea refills. ditzy greeter neglects to remove empty glasses from now overcrowded table. oh yeah, water glass is still empty.

at this point, M&i finally have an opportunity to eat. it was hard to really enjoy lunch, and we can't say we were really wowed by the food (most reviews we have read imply that the food & service is pretty good). as we sat there, we looked at what we had ordered and wondered how it could take so long to make what we had ordered.

the watermelon salad was nothing fancy, it isn't hard to place guacamole in a large bowl, add some crab meat, surround with chips. and the tacos aren't that complicated either - as an appetizer, they are pretty small, so while we were eating, we were boggled at how it could take so long (unless the order hadn't been placed until we complained).

206pm
we finish eating. waitress comes over to clear the table and ask if we want anything else. M orders another ice tea which is prompty delivered.

215pm
we couldn't leave the place fast enough.

never once did our waitress apologize to us. the manager did, but by the time she did, we were both boiling. we never received an explanation as to what the delay was, or why there was such a delay.

so, M&i will say this: don't eat at Finz in salem.

i realize that there have been plenty of people who have had really good meals there, but based on our experience, i cannot, nor will i suggest anyone go there to eat.

so, like the burlington cheesecake factory location, finz in salem is now blacklisted. i will not eat there again.

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heh

according to the Machiavelli personality test at Salon:

The Machiavelli personality test has a range of 0-100
Your Machiavelli score is: 78
You are a high Mach, you endorse Machiavelli's opinions.

Most people fall somewhere in the middle, but there's a significant minority at either extreme.

This survey itself measures only one thing -- whether you subscribe to the ideas of a 16th century Italian political philosopher. But experiments have shown that reactions to Machiavelli act as a kind of litmus test, delineating differences in temperament that can be confirmed with more traditional personality inventories. High Machs constitute a distinct type: charming, confident and glib, but also arrogant, calculating and cynical, prone to manipulate and exploit. (Think Rupert Murdoch, or if your politics permit it, President Clinton.)

True low Machs, however, can be kind of dependent, submissive and socially inept. So be sure to invite a high Mach or two to your next dinner party.

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GO AWAY!

i'm trying to enjoy looking thru the headlines at Gizmodo and every other post for the most part is on the iPhone or the fucking douchebags waiting in line to get one.

i give little stevie jobs points for creating this media (and in turn fucking douchebags) frenzy over this thing, but this phone is not the end all be all of phones.

and, to top it off, the tubbalard who is first in line at the NYC apple store is a professional first in liner. that's what he does for a living - be the first on line for whatever "it" is. why do you want to pay $500 for this thing? or $600 for the 8gb version? nevermind the additional required phone plans you have to get.

ugh...

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i'm just going to keep this short.

yesterday i was informed that my cousin's husband killed himself. what little we know, there were marital issues that precipitated this, but for whatever reason, he felt that it was better to kill himself than go down a different avenue.

i never met him (my cousin is on a different branch of the family tree than mine), so i have no idea what he was like, so i don't have any real opinion on this other than 'oy'. the part that bothers me is his family is blaming my cousin for him killing himself. fuck you. you obviously don't know the full story, and if thru your grief and rage actually set your rage aside for a moment, you might discover that maybe it wasn't my cousin's fault. i certainly do not know the circumstances, but in a time like this, getting angry at the person who was the supposed root of HIS depression/insecurities is just plain wrong. maybe, just maybe, there was more to this than you know. maybe if you would talk to my cousin in a civil tone, you might hear her side of the story.

suicide is fucking selfish. it affects everyone around you, and he took the easy way out. he didn't think of his family, his wife, his SON. he thought of himself. he killed himself.

so i end on this:

to his grieving family, fuck you.

to my cousin, i'm sorry. our side of the family is here for you.

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what a jackass

Michigan Woman Claims Starburst Candies Are Dangerously Chewy in Lawsuit

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Starburst Fruit Chews are exactly as their name would indicate: chewy. But one Michigan woman says the candies are so chewy, they should come with a warning label.

Victoria McArthur, of Romero, Mich., is suing Starbursts' parent company, Mars Inc., for more than $25,000 for "permanent personal injuries" she claims she sustained after biting into one of their yellow candy in 2005.

"I don't know, maybe about 3 chews and it literally locked my jaw … and it just literally pulled my jaw out of joint," she told MyFoxDetroit.com.

McArthur's lawyer, Brian Muawad, says the candies caused her to develop a condition known as temporal mandibular joint dysfunction. McArthur says she has had trouble chewing, talking and sleeping since the incident.

Muawad says McArthur offered to negotiate a settlement with Starburst's insurer to pay for her rehabilitation, but the company said no way. A spokesman for Mars refused to comment.

McArthur says she just wants to make sure nobody else meets the same end she did when she decided to indulge her sweetooth.

"I don't want to see anybody else have to go through what I have gone through from eating a piece of candy that was supposed to be soft chew," she said.

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